Chunks of thoughts
Friday, May 18, 2007
This whole week, i din get to see Love much. He was in hutan for NS. Only came out of hutan yesterday. Haha. Seriously missed him. Coz i didnt even get to hear his voice. *pouts*. And since i had too much time for myself, i did my own researching of bridal stuffs, from the bouquets to the gowns, to the decorations, to the card designs.. and the list went on and on. But that was not as much as the time i spent on looking at interior decorations.. watelse, for my own house, gonna be done with my own taste. wheee. Love was surprised that I had every single thing decided on , for the house, i mean. Even to the b-a-b-y room. lolz. Yes, darling, told you that im more of a MARRIAGE person than a WEDDING person. :)
Had a good but slow dinner last sunday with his friends. Slow as it was mothers' day. Food came in 45minutes time.. And our sugar cane drinks tasted funny, like as if there was a drop of sabun in it. bleargh. So me and fizah were talking bout mak andam, their cost and all, when one of Love's friend menyampuk, and he was surprised that mak andam with 4 salinan fee cost 1600+. haha.. Yups, its true. At least for an ok to good mak andam services. The fantastic ones will cost 2-3k. Yar, that much. And people are saying that tunang is expensive. They dont know that getting married is like 20 times more expensive then getting engaged. The amount of money spent on tunang is just like the price of a good wedding cake. heh. Unless if one is considering from the guy's side. Where he has to fork out the money for the ring. But that ring is for you to wear your whole life mah. Buy now, buy later, still have to buy right? And if im not mistaken one of my friend used to want to just "sarung cincin". No money spend on food and dulangs. Just a formality of the parents from both side, to meet together, to set the date (read : date, not year) and it serves like a "dateline" for the engaged couple to look forward to, with them getting fully ready - mind, body, agama, financial and other essential factors of marriage.
I couldnt still fathom the idea of "lets get married, but lets just set the year we want to get married". And am still wondering how does such parents go about doing it. Coz ultimately, parents still have to meet up with the other side and talk bout it right? Thats like masuk meminang, and if both agree with the date and all, and are looking forward to that special date of urs, isnt that considered as the couple is going through an engagement process? Coz within that "engagement" time, mana boleh orang lain potong jalan pe.
What i can picture the scenario is like this..
Laki A : You, i nak kahwin ngan you lah. Kita dah lama together. Slalu cakap pasal kawin semua.
Gadis B : Yes i agreed. But i taknak tunang, buang duit lah. Duit tu boleh simpan beli cake wedding lagi besar sikit tau.
Laki A: Ye ke? oklah. Kalau gitu macam gini je. You rasa bila2 agaknya kita boleh kawin?
Gadis B : I tink kan dear, lepas i dah stable sikit lah. You know, keje and all. I rasa lagi *blah-blah1 to blah-blah2* years lah. Wat do you think?
Laki A : Oklah, we work our way to that blah-blah 1/blah-blah2 years ok.
Gadis B: Ok. Lagipun my parents pun cakap, kalau u nak kahwin ngan i, kita tak yah tunang, just make it work until dat blah-blah-blah years. Nanti you balik, you bilang your parents k. Nanti i pun bilang my mama.
Ok.. sekarang part tergantung ni bingung sikit ah.. if the parents agree, they must verbally say they setuju kan? to the other party right? Takkan anak2 jadi messengers benda2 lifetime decision macam gini. And knowing parents, they definitely are knowledgeable and more beradab then anak2 zaman kita ni. I did talk to Love bout this and we came to the same conclusion, which was that we did it cause we and our parents want something concrete of this, ie our relationship, our promises, and our love for one another.And this is a concrete promise not only to each other, but also to each other's parents. Not for fun, neither was it to "waste money" nor was it for us to get to know each other better mcm zaman jepun dulu, where couples are match-make by others. I chose him and chose me. We want this in not for us to end up putus. Nauzubillah. I dont deny we need to know each other better, but doesnt any of u couples need that too?
I heard of sad love stories where couples are together for several years, but ended even before they can bring it to the next level, and i heard of amazing love stories where couples met and got married in 4 months time. And yes, they were people of my age! And my parents get to know for 3 months, and then engaged, and got married in the next 3 months. And they are still happily married now with four of me+siblings. Do people then have the right to judge whether you know your bf better than i know mine? Sometimes people fail to see that its not the number of years you are together, that determines the intimacy, closeness, the understanding you have for one another. Its the dynamism of your relationship which shapes your lives together as a couple.
At the end of the day, it is all about choices, and how you respect other people's choices. One may have the right to voice out opinions, and hey im one of them too. And knowing me, i always tend to explain in such a detail on whatever opinions i have. :)
I realised people my age are not that exposed to this engagement and wedding hoo-ha yet.So maybe their idea of engagement, is splurging, which you have the choice of doing it big, or doing it small, just like how a wedding will be like. And the differences between them and Love's friends are obvious. Sitting with my group of friends, they talked bout getting engaged/married, graduation, internship, and find a job. Sitting with Love's friends, they talked bout bonuses, good pay jobs, pregnancy, change cars, houses etc etc. And i like the differences, seriously. Being with my clique makes me humble coz I am still the same age as them. Though i can be ahead in certain things, but ultimately, i grow up with them. I am still like them. Being with Love's friends on the other hand, makes me feel ambitious, and wanted to achieve the same or even better than what they have, learn from their mistakes, and make me feel excited and all eager to know what is on the other side of my rainbow. And i agree, i used to be in a nutshell and all, my swiss gfs can vouch on this. But being with Love, makes me learn and discover more new, interesting, and useful things bout life. Of course, he is the more mature partner then me. And he never fails to amaze me with his mature ideas and perceptions when we talked bout more serious stuffs like marriage or to even simple things about life. But that doesnt mean i cant be me. I believe im more optimist than he is. I love life coz its beautiful and i prefer to see its beauty than its ugliness. Love always say that im a breathe of fresh air to him; with my different outlook on life, with my own mind which is not tarnished, and he can see the young fill with hopes and dreams in me. *smilez*. Not that he is that old btw. People used to ask me how old/much older he is. I used to reply "6 years. 5 years, if u asked me infront of him, coz he is in denial". But now, I simply say " just perfect for me". awww..
I dont know whats up for weekends.. Maybe go jb, watch vcd, go gym as usual. hehe..
At least i dont have to rush my term paper though. hooray for that! :)
Aniways bee.. karaoke session kau bile ni? Prezzie pun dah kena kasi jugak. hehe.
Ooh, i went to that wedding yang kluar kat berita minggu.. Love bumped onto alot of ehem ehem ohom ohom.. Love wore the Raoul shirt i bought for him. Sungguh the sexy this man of mine. Takleh angkat lah .. :P . I think if we are married, i'll use that shirt as our foreplay. lolz. then i can rip it off, then buy him new one, then rip it off.. *grinz*. just like you told me you'll buy me victoria's secret lingerie, rip it off, then buy me a new one too. ahhhahah
love my Love.
