Y isit s0 difficult to find a guy who cn sh0p along wif u.. Seri0usly. I d0nt want juz a guy wh0 carries ma shopping bags f0r me but a guy who "participate" along wif me while shopping.. Like he cn make comments if that colour suits me, or if i cant carry that kinda style or if i look stupid in tat design or watever..
I went out wif Amat juz n0w.. Went Far East Plaza to eat at Sakura. I thot everiting will be a lil perfect, till i realised the sun was sc0rching hot. Sheesh.. N riding a bike made me feel barbecued all over. Im a spoilt-girl, c0z im s0 used to car rides wif blasting air-conditioners in my face.. N i definitely hate Amat's seats. Its so slippery that i kept on sliding to the his seat.. I s0rt 0f apply pressure thro ma thighs to prevent sliding further close to him. N0w, im ended wif sore thighs.. It sux, i tell u.. I juz feel eeky if i haf to press the fr0nt 0f ma b0dy to his back..(ok, dont roll ur eyes!!) Nonetheless, i miss feeling the breeze on ma face. The last time, i had a bike ride was wif daddie n his X9 Almalfi bike.. haha.. the bike where i cn sit super straight n dont even haf to hold on to him, juz the side handles of the bike.. Not forgetting i cn sleep throughout the ride..lol
So, moving on to my day wif Amat.. We went to eat at Far East Sakura, i had ma favourite hor fun , n him a simple nasi goreng dish.. n we talk n talk for an hour an a half.. We decided to walk ard Far East. N i went to shop AGAIN.(half bankrupt oredi).. I got maself new accessories n new top.. It took me a long time to decide on wat i wna get n if i realli3 like it.. I haf to gif credit to Amat for his patience..*smilez*.. Oh yar, i tried to apply my amateur bargain skill in this shop. I din realise how bad i was at that, until one kakak told me, " Gurl, this is Far East. U juz cant bargain here".. lol.. I muz haf sux big time.. Illiana, gif me a bargain-skill makeover please..
Aniway, Abg Mat (sis bf) came 2 ma house juz now. He sort of being "interrogated" by ma daddie.. I made it a point to listen to everi thing daddie asked him. Who knows i cn gif tips to my future hubby.. haha.. But then, daddie muz alwys burst ma bubble. He told me to forget it, coz he'll ask different kind of qns.. blehz.. he's thinking two steps ahead of me.. *rolling ma eyes* .. Watever it is, im glad they r getting engaged this September..InsyaAllah. I prayed hard for them. Along has not been thinking clearly these months.. Abg Mat is going thro hell from Along.. haiz.. Looking at their situation, it juz scared me. Big time..
Ok.. i haf to stop blogging often. *grinz*.. I nvr realised my day-t0-day life is quite interesting. lol.. 2m0r0 morning (7am), my dad, my siblings n me, haf to do carwash.. It'll be tiring, coz it aint juz a n0rmal carwash,coz theres the cleaning of the interior n the waxing too.. No point arguing wif daddie on how tired i am. C0z 2 him, its called making full use of HIS manpower(egoistic toot), i called it CHILD LABOUR.. haha.. Luckily, in the afternoon, me g0nna g0 geylang wif syahidah.. Better be prepared to see tons of Mats wif TAPERED pants.. *bluek*..
Beach-in wif Ain was a blast yesterday! It was amazing that de weather stayed c00l n windy with0ut raining tat day.. haha.. 0nce we reached East Coast, we placed Ain's small mat under one shady tree.. We t00k l0tsa pictures.. haha.. Everiting went fine, the f00d, the weather, the talkings... everithing, until we were disturbed by mat surfers.. Well, i dont deny i like de attenti0n furtherm0re they l00ked h0t wif sunkissed tan n they haf six packers! oh my g0d!! But they looked dumb too wif their surfb0ard, trying very hard to surf at the edge of the beach, running to everi single small wave they could catch on. H0w dumb is tat?.. Surfing at spore beach?! Well, we were glad they dint disturbed us tat long...
So there we were, lying down n watching the sunset.. We couldnt see much but it was beautiful nonetheless.. It was getting cr0wded wif people barbecueing too.. Then Ain spotted this guy, aint a local, n this guy kept looking at us all the time. He was sitting near an opposite tree,n it seemed like he was sitting nearer n nearer to us. He made us feel so uncomfartable tat we decided to pack up fast n leave.. We th0t everithing was over, coz he was still sitting d0wn when we left. But then, wen Ain turned around for the sec0nd time, she saw he was making a m0ve t0ward 0ur directi0n. I was panickin like shit. Wh0 w0uldnt be? This is the 2nd time im stalked! That guy was catching up on us too.. Then he made a mistake for walking ahead of us. By then, Ain n me decided to take another longer route to the tunnel. N we were so glad there was a couple walking together wif us.. gee, we felt a lil safe. Until we came out of the tunnel n walking near HDB Flats, we spotted him at a nearby void deck. He was pretending that he's using the public phone.. But seriously, he sux at it..Me n Ain were ducking our heads while running to avoid being seen by him. We glad we were safe..
We decided to chill for awhile at BK, to pass the time.. While lining up 2 buy maself a mushroom swiss meal, i was in deep thots thinking bout wat had happened juz n0w. I seriously dint realise i was staring at this malay guy, working in the kitchen.. Until he waved at me twice, then i realised i muz haf given him de wrong signal.. Arghhh.. I better stop staring n thinking at the same time. 0nce i did that, i nearly made an apek sitting on the opposite seat in the 188 bus, blushed hard and 0n an0ther 0ccasion, i was pulled up on the dance floor to be grinded by two english guys while dancing reggae.. lol.. ok, back to the Kitchen boy.. Since i knew ive given the wr0ng signal, i kept looking at everithing else except him.. N the long queue realli dint help at all.. After ordering my meal, i was told to wait for one minute at the counter for my burger.. After waiting, that malay guy walked out of the kitchen to the counter n placed ma burger on ma tray n said, " Specially for u".. Hmm.. impressive, but weird. How special cn a burger be. Its juz a burger, rite?.. haha.. Then when i was undoing the wrapper, i realised that the cheese given was mmmmmm...more than usual.. Woah... lotsa melted cheese. Even Ain was amazed.. lol.. That was the most splendid mushroom swiss burger ever.. *grinz*.. I guess i should stare more often huh?.. Juz h0pe i dont end up wif a burger that has been spit on. hehe..
Our day ended wif a nice ride in Adrian's beautiful merc car.. I think he changed the interior of his car coz the last time, i remember , it was greyish.. Aniway, my night went on preeti well except for the nagging from my bro.. well, a short nag. I told him bout me being stalked n he blamed it on the way i dress.. wtf. I dont wear tank tops or tubes or mini skirts.. For a split second there, i felt i was like his little sister.. lol.. It felt great tho'.. hmmm.. i guess that how it feels to have an "older" brother.=)
Hmmm... w0nderful day spent yesterday.. G0t a sweet treat at swensen fr0m lovely Illiana, ma sweet pal since pri sch00l.. hehe.. We spent alot of time chatting bout lotsa stuffies.. She's like my updater..(Im serious!!). She can update me bout everiting on aniting. She kn0ws bout nearly all the latest h0t stuffz happening. U g0 gurl! N Yana is a GREAT bargainer.. wait.. it should be great flirtish bargainer. *lol*.. She flirt with this nepal guy at Bugis flea market. Her flirting techniques was the ultimatum ah.. I even felt embarrassed for the guy. I swear to god that my cheeks were flushing not from the heat of the crampy market, but from her acti0ns n n0t f0rgettin her chirpy voice. Hahaha.. Even ma knees cn go wobbly n i cn melt 0n the spot seh.. She's sweet too for trying 2 bargain f0r me.. I d0nn0 y i sux mega big time in bargaining.. lol.. Yana, u will g0 sh0pping wif me fr0m n0w 0n.. *smilez* Aniway, im s0 happi i got 2 buy 2 lovely coloured tops n a lovely beaded bangle.
Later tat evening, we had a programme meeting at Millenia Walk BK. Of all the places u cn get in Spore. Seri0usly, the place was s0 hard to find! Me n yana walked round n round. N0t f0rgetting i was gettin' blisters wearing th0se stupid black p0inty sh0es. But wh0 cares, Zahdan said its cutsie, like s0me china dollie sh0es..awwww *blush2*. Aniways, mizz Zahdan l0ads. Got t0 hug him at last!! haha.. N i bumped into Indah at bugis too!! But dint get to hug her.. sigh.. Mayb nxt time, i'll gif her a big huggie.
The meeting started late, n as usual, ends late too.. And we girls haf to take taxi all the way h0me.. I was abit pissed wif daddie c0z he couldnt pick me up..The scary part last nite was wen i was followed by two chinese guys from bus stop all the way to my block. It really scared the hell out of me. Furthermore, my hp batt wen flat. I was praying really hard. I believe i NVR prayed so hard for my life before.. I'm glad nothing horrible happened. Tat incident definitely left me thinking.. Its funny tat all those night clubbings n late nite return home, nvr got me into this kinda trouble but coming home at 11pm did.. Hurmpz.. Aniway, i got small lecture from daddy last nite, bout me being his anak dara, shouldnt c0me h0me late.. n yada..yada.. yada.. Call me crazy but i diint feel annoyed one lil bit.. Mayb i mizz hearing his "im-ur-dad,better-listen-to-me" tone ..Weird..weird. And finally i realised that if i kept veri quiet during "lecture", the lecture will end earlier than I expected..haha.. Clever me!
Cant wait for my outing wif ain next. But havent plan yet. I donno if Ain is up for last min beach bumming. I nd to get a lil tan. Zahdan said im getting fairer.. Arghh. N i th0t im 0redi tanned!! Paranoid me.
Oh goodness, im bloated fr0m the l0vely pizza treat fr0m daddy at JB.. Ahhhhhhhh finally, i get t0 eat pizza, after such a l0ng wait since examinati0n days.. It was a freakin tiring but awesomely excellent *wink2* day.. haha.. It started from 9 am in the m0rning. Me, mommie, busu n daddie went to ziarah our late grandmama (daddie's mom). She passed away on 22 Jan this yr. Its been like 4 months n i haven even ziarah her at all.. B4 we reached there, daddie was telling me n mommie 2 b str0ng n c0ntr0l 0urselves fr0m crying much.. When he said tat, deep d0wn in my heart, i was darn c0nfident tat i w0nt.. I believe im str0ng enuff t0 h0ld it back. But then, 0nce we were there, seing s0 many headst0nes across acres of land, tears started to trickled d0wn ma cheeks.. Then, when daddie told us to read the d0a f0r entering the cemetary (malay version doa), i juz feel sadder.
The doa, " Assalamualaikum, ya ahli kubur. Sesungguhnya engkau telah pergi terlebih dahulu dari kami. Insya Allah kami akan menuruti kamu nanti. Semoga kita sama-sama di dalam rahmat dan belas kasihan Allah.Amin."
It is so true. I cant describe h0w it feels when i recite tat doa. It sumh0w hit the ultimate soft part deep d0wn in me.. It makes me realise h0w sh0rt life is n h0w ungrateful i am towards my living.. When we reach late grandma's kubur, we read d0a n sprinkle rose water with lots of flowers on top of it. I could see insects, centipedes, bugs,ants crawling all over. I c0uldnt help crying, but im glad i could hold back the n0ises i sh0uld haf made, n it ended up sounding like s0me weird sniffles.
On our way to JB, i was in deep th0ughts. I was w0ndering, why i am the way i am n0w. Y couldnt i bec0me much better? Its n0t that i d0 n0t haf the right path in fr0nt 0f me. Its there, i juz d0 n0t want t0 walk 0n it. Sumting is wr0ng b0ut me. Im h0lding back f0r s0mething, which i didnt kn0w what it is. I kn0w i will walk tat path one day, but its not now. But y? I wont be at a lost if i walk it now. But y? Last nite, i was smsing one of my fren, who wished me happi b'day, n he said he's juz 20, two years ago. I told him, time flies fast. Juz hope that we had made the best out of it ourselves. It kept me thinking.. I d0nn0 hw such wonderful n meaningful words flow easily from me but i nvr did reflect on how true it realli is.. I guess this is my reflection for my 20th birthday.
I din celebrate much last weekends.. Went to 3 kenduri n one majlis maulid nabi.. haha.. Watever it is, Im so glad that it rained heavily tat saturday(21st may).. I love the rain. How could people hate it?. Its so calming n soothing... *smiles* I miss walking in the rain. I seriously do.. That day, i d0nn0 wat g0t int0 me. I went to daddie, salam n hug him loads. We din say much but i knew wat he wanna say n i bet my life that he knew wat i wanna say too.. N theres the eyes to look at.. The eyes never lies.. I truly believe tat.. Growing up, i felt much more closer n closer to daddie.. I tink he knows me inside out. He's the onli one who cn hit the soft spot in me.. Wif my family, im alwys the tough one.. I know i aint tat tough. But im good at pretending tat i am.. N 0nli daddie knows it. haha.. weird. When peepz alwys say mom knows best.. Well, mommie knows 2nd best.. But n0 matter wat, i love both equally..
A few days ago, i overheard daddie talking to Along. He said h0w much he appreciate me. He told ma sis tat between me n her, i am much more responsible towards my family compared to my sis. N he said that he knows im always stress bout the responsibilities, but nonetheless, i alwys managed to do it. He also said that he knows i cried bout my family much more than my sis did. Lastly he told ma sis tat he realli appreciate me.. I cried when i overheard him saying all that.. It meant alot to me. Finally i know that my family realli appreciate wat ive done. Coz ive started to think tat they took me for granted.. But y couldnt he say it 2 me? Isit difficult?.. It makes me wonder, y its so difficult for people who love n care so much bout each other to express their feelings of love n gratitude 2wards one another..I guess those peeps who r supposedly "in love", n said numerous n countless times of " i love u " is not really in the ultimate true n real love yet.. Coz when u realli love sum1, u dont say it, believe me, u realli COULDNT.. U will try to substitute it by doing things to show hw much u realli appreciate them. No words cn describe ur love for them. Its definitely unexplainable.. Period.
Aniwaes, this week gonna be fun.. Im practically out everiday. So many peepz wna meet me up n gif me prezzies.. haha.. i love it!!.. Gonna get free treats too.. lol.. I'll update u guys bout it ait.. Take care n may the force be wif u!
Ps: these pics we took b4 maulid ceremony.. haha.. sempat bergambar oi..
Me n Mommie ( see the resemblance??)
A p0em fr0m him:*****************************
All I want is one chanceYour addictive smile got me feeling special when I look at your picture,Though all I always did was to sms you, I feel like someone is there with me,Somtimes at night I wonder if i might have a chance,To get with you,All I want is one chance,I wanna take you out,And show you how serious I can be,When I dream of you,I feel me and you were meant to be right,I never wanted a girl as bad as I want you,I try to get over you but I can't,I do for a while , but the feeling always comes backI pray one day you will be mine, Because you're the only reason why I enjoy my life right now,I want to be lost in your love,I want to shower you with hugs and kisses,And grant all your wishes, well, at least most of itAnd hope mine is granted back and that's for you to give me one chance to be with you.**************************
Such a sweet n h0nest p0em that left me crying for days.. Y c0uldnt i love th0se guys wh0 love me s0 much n did all th0se amazing n r0mantic things that 0ther girls could 0nli dream 0f?? G0d, i HATE maself s0 much. I nvr th0t ma past acti0ns will cum n haunt ma future.. im feeling s0 angri at maself. Y m i such a bitch to u? Im s0 s0ree i hurt u. Im s0ree i gave u false h0pe. Im s0ree f0r being in denial that i cant be happy wif u. I tried to. Though 0ur relati0nship 0nli lasted f0r a few days, Im n0t lying tat I did try my best t0 be happi wif u. But i c0uldnt. Its n0t ur fault, trust me. Its juz me.. I c0uldnt live a lie.. I juz c0uldnt. I c0uldnt pretend 2b happi wif u when aLL i c0uld tink 0f back then was y HE left me.. That's y i left u. i D0nt want u 2 fall deeper f0r me.. Bt i guess u did. There's n0 power in me n in u 2 stop it.... Im s0 s0ree I br0ke up wif u 0n dE day u were sick.. Im s0rree im ign0rin u tiLL this day.. Im s0ree tat i c0uldnt change the Past n0 matter h0w much i wish i coulD . Im s0rree i c0uldnt sh0w u h0w much im feeLin' angri n disgusted wif maseLf.. Im s0rree i couldnt n i stiLL am Unable t0 gif u 0ne m0re chance coz hurting u twice is nt wat i wna d0.. Lastly, Im s0ree, s0 s0rree I'm n0t in love with u.....
