Love Love Love

Thursday, January 27, 2005

sheesh.. 2day g0 h0me kena advise fr0m daddy n0t t0 eat while walking.. tak manis dia ckp.. haiy0h.. s0 leceh becum a girl.. difficult u knw.. Muz be s0pan, ada tata tertib, kn0ws hw to beautify herself, knws hw to cook.. and the list g0es 0n n 0n.. the guys like wna r0b0t f0r a wife.. huh! n0t fair.. f0r the guys, they 0nli nd 2 knw hw 2 repair stuffs n protect the girl.. but a wait a minute! h0w 0ften d0 a girl nd a guy t0 pr0tect her? let me see.. like 0nce in a million yrs? h0w 0ften d0 u see a guy like kick the ass 0f an0ther guy t0 protect a girl?.. hmm.. like NEVER?!! see. Its like we juz nd guys t0 satisfy our desire i.e sex.(not including the lesbis lar). Y buy the whole pig when u juz nd THAT piece 0f bac0n?? sheesh.. ok2.. enuff 0f antag0nising the 0ther party.. Yesterday went eat dinner wif Asri at PS Pizza Hut.. He blanja again.. yeah. Then he passed me the baju kurta he bought at Tekka. Its oklah. The c0lour is like indian's purple. Hmm.. i dare n0t say anithing else here..haha.. Things was g0ing 0n preety fast.. I'm quite uncomfortable abit. Mayb its juz that i've been single for 2 yrs. I g0 0n dates, but i dint let things g0 a step further. Ppl alwys sc0ld me t0 give relationship a try. I d0nn0 y i dint..At the m0ment, im leaving my doors open for other opportunities which i seriously d0nn0 what.. I nd a sign.. Seriously.. *sigh*.. Aniway, got to knw fr my br0 that 0ne paramedic tag his blog.. n apparently, that guy is Mokhtar, hasyim's fren.. haha.. heard bout him many times fr hasyim n ain br.. Wat a small w0rld!!

writtern @7:38 PM

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Funny.. 2day go sch for only one hr.. Thot i got maths lab oso 2day but no.. 2 ah.. pandai2 je ckp ade. I skip maths lect in the afternoon. If i knw i'm doing this, mite as well sit at home n snore all day coz 1101 lab oso damn useless, do Unix onli and i dnt believe it is impt at all.. After that lab, i went to teman mah sis perm her hair at a saloon near our area. She very funny liao. She called me n ask where to get cheap2 perming place. I say go neighbourhood one. Then she say, hw cum got alot of asoh(nyonya).. I say duh.. what u expect.. cheap2 one wat..Then she say she wna check out a nearby abit high standard saloon. She called me again 5 min later, complaining that the saloon charge $180 for spa perming. She still got the chix 2 complain2 wen her budget is only $40. Funny.. Funny.. I thot me selenger giler.. She worse. Mayb it runs in the family. Hahah.. After that we went to westmall and bought skirts.. She bought white n i bought black.. She bought a sunglass n a shawl too.. The whole afternoon after that i slack at hm. N0 kenduri like as planned coz ayah n ibu sent Nek Ngah n Nek something2(i cnt remembr her pangkat) balik kampong at Melaka.. we siblings stay at hm n kebulur, wif only yest lauk. Then ard 7pm got a call fr daddy 2 get prepared coz we eating out.. Yeay! Daddy to the rescue.. haha.. fun.. i was wondering where we gonna eat. We all got prepared by 7.30.. Then got a call again from daddy, saying he's stuck at causeway.. So we wait n wait.. We still got the time to take pics n watch Suria show, Hanyut.. Ard 9, we go downstairs n off to Satay Club at sembawang.. Yummy2... I ate Hor Fun, my favourite.. that's the only food i alwys order aniwhere.. hehe.. Ok2.. tired oredi.. here's some pic taken from today's ordeals..

writtern @12:30 AM

Me n AbG

writtern @12:10 AM

Sweet Sistas

writtern @12:10 AM

AbaNg n Al0nG

writtern @12:10 AM

Pr0ducts Of Rahmad & Hamidah..

writtern @12:09 AM

Me n bUsu

writtern @12:09 AM

0ur FamilY's T00L

writtern @12:08 AM

Sunday, January 23, 2005

2day, my family is having a kenduri for my arwah nenek. Yar, she meninggal yest morning.. so sad, yet glad that all her pain n suffering is over. I nvr saw sum1 in the midst ofnazak before.. Definitely an explainable experience. Syukur, she pass away without any difficulty. She still look calm when she's g0ne. I'm thankful that i got to baca surah yasin waktu akhir2 hayat dia.. My m0m was the moz affected person. Dia tk tentu arah.. She sort of panic and she really hold on to our home nurse, nvr letting her go, when the nurse confirm that my nenek was gone. Ape ke tidak, my mom was the one who clean up n feed her. Yest nite, she's a bit different. She said she saw my arwah nenek figure at the mirror.. She couldn't eat, she couldnt sleep. She even want my aunts to stay overnite with her.. Even this morning, she's a bit reluctant to let me go and buy stuffs for the kenduri. Her worries is in her eyes, i could see it. Then i told my sis to go ahead first, n i wait for my bros to come back from ziarah kubur. Now i'm worried. When school days start again, my mom will be all alone in the afternoon, aft she come back from work.Big part of me feel like not going to school juz to accompany her until at least my bro came back hm ard 3+ earliest.. Kesian my mom.. I wish she will be fine. I hope everyone will. I broke down n cry lots since yest. Its funny, since i'm not close to this nenek as i am wif my other late grandma.. Maybe coz we've been living under one roof for 2 months straight. I know i haf to b strong, even if im not, i haf to pretend, for my mom's sake.I dint tell anione bout my granny, but somehow, everybody get to know. I was glad to get a call from Hasyim. Apparently he got to knw from one of his paramedic fren who come to my house yesterday morning.. Then Asri called n i was so sad to cancel our plan yesterday. I got a few msgs from my frens too.. Juz nw, in the morning, ayah broke down. He said that he felt sunyi.. there's no purpose for him to wake up in the middle of the nite animore.. ialah, dh tkde nenek..I pity him, ya Allah.. he used to say that kalau tkde nenek, siape lagi dia nak mintak doa kalau dia dlm kesusahan.. I'm still in pain.. I juz wish i cn make everybody feel happy n stop crying. God, i'm not gd enuff. Sheesh, i'm crying now.. I guess its ok. I havent cry at all 2day..

"Ya Allah, lapangkanlah kubur nenekku, permudahkanlah urusannya, moga-moga nenek digolongkan dlm golongan orang2 yang soleh. Amin"

writtern @11:51 AM

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Me n my spec!

writtern @10:07 PM

I watch Elektra wif Helmi 2day.. His treat again.hehe.. so long nvr see him.. He's an idiot as usual.. I m realli irritated wif him, he hate my hair n he hate my specs.. FARK him man.. haha.. wh0 cares what he thinks. N0t as if i'm pleasing him.. aniways, talk alot bout stuffz wif him. He love 2 ask if i've been dumping or using any guys.. Such a bas3rd yet a gd fren.. haha..s0 tired n0w.. juz quarrel wif my dad 0ver s0me trivial stuff. I s0 lazy to explain so i juz roll my eyes n go to my r00m.. sheesh.. what a day.. I wish i cn do sumting relaxing like go spa or sumting.. Ya lah, no $$.. Should find a rich bf fast man.. Then spend his farking loads of m0ney for everything i want.. Actually, the best is to get married to a damn old guy( like sum1 who's s0 freaking old n weak that he cnt haf sex or he'll die. This way, cn maintain my virginity...) Then everyday i pray that he'll die faster so i becum a rich wid0w..W0w.. i sound like a bitchy bitch.. haha. Maybe..

Btw, check out me n my spec.. haha.. Old Sch90l dudes..

writtern @9:56 PM

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Yesterday, when out wif Asri, this guy i gotto know from JJ. Hmm.. I tink nisz is rite. He d0es look like a Mat but he d0esnt talk like one. Quite an interesting guy actually coz we have a great conversation, talking bout lot of stuffs that both of us cn relate too. I ate alot oso yesterday, Mac, ch0colate n m0cha frap.. I need to exercise man coz we gonna eat at Pizza hut this Saturday! .. Hmm.. maybe I shld tryout my br0's new dumbells.. Haha.. Still remember me n my dad bought him those 12kg dumbells from m'sia.. quite cheap ard 60 ringgit.. Hmm.. school was ok2 so far. But i still cnt concentrate esp for maths.. Keep on sleeping ar..Tsk3..Btw, hasyim msg me again. Shit! I d0nn0 whether i shld still be pissed wif him or not, after that incident.. But i dont deny i was happy that he still remember me.. but like aft 2 months of no-smsing? Hmm.. tink again, girl.. Sumtimes, i question myself if i really2 know him like i thought i do.. Mayb, its not me, its him. He d0esnt kn0w me.. I d0nn0 what level 0f friendship we are in.. Its juz that when we are bof alone together, i felt like i am in a comfort zone wif sumone i know my whole life.. However, when i'm wif him n his frens, he is sumhw different. He cn juz ign0re me.. Maybe its my fault. I alwys expect alot from my frens, especially close ones. N when they dint turn 0ut t0 be what i expected, i'm hurt.. Some of my frens tink that i'm in l0ve wif him. I d0nt deny that. Yes, i love him as a FRIEND.. and i alwys will, juz like I love Yazid.. God, i miss my dear silat-b0y n i'm w0ndering if he ever thinks of me too.. I'm glad t0 know he's happy rite now wif Alifah, s0 happy that he f0rgets bout me.. It d0esnt matter aniway c0z its my fault. I love him s0 much that i d0nt wanna hurt him.. Its my decision n i haf to live wif it for the rest of my life.. I know i cn never make him happy as he is wif her n0w.. Why b0ther Sh0f? Why bother..

F0r it is n0t my ears u whispered into, but my heart
F0r it is n0t my lips u kissed, but my s0ul

writtern @10:27 AM

Still in a daze...

Thursday, January 13, 2005

I g0t a new haircut t0day.. Haha.. G0t different rxn from different peepz.. The 0nly same thing is that - I l00k g00d ! haha.. i tink s0 too.. I havent been having hair cut like forever..U know what? I've been pampering myself.. I bought a b0x 0f fererr0 n van h0uten ch0c yest..2day i g0t a haircut.. D0nn0 what i'm g0nna d0 2m0ro.. hehe.. well, i'm still in a daze from juz now busride.. haha.. Guess what peeps? I s0rt 0f bump int0 the hands0me chinese hunk in my last sem SS Tut0rial.. W0ah! i was flabbergasted man! but 0f c0urse, i'm g00d at hiding that.. I can swear to g0d i was 0n fire when he talked 2 me.. hehe.. We talked alot bout my society-PBM n his- Christian Crusade. We talked bout sch00l n stuffz.. At last! I g0t his name too.. Was like w0ndering wat's his name.. Its J0el btw.. haha.. He g0t this reali hot bod n i swear i cn see his well defined biceps.. S0rri if i went into details here.. haha.. Cnt help it lar.. G0t fetish f0r MEN wif cute hairstyle n h0t b0d! Yeah.. I repeat again - its MEN! nt boys.. s0 SAD that our conversation in the bus lasted for like 15min. that's not bad c0z the w0rst part is-- he dint ask for my n0! What's the big deal? Its like a mega giant deal 2 me, like duh! Dint ask for n0. = not that into me.. Haha.. Fine2.. g0t 2 snap back 2 reality. At least got to talk 2 him, rite.. Yeah..

writtern @9:27 PM

Sch00l starts baby...

Monday, January 10, 2005

Sch00l starts 0redi.. Haiz.. I'm still in my sleeping spell. I fell asleep twice this m0rning.. i woke up ard 7 n stay awake until ard 10. That is when i fell asleep AGAIN till ard 11.30. If my aunt dint woke me up, i'll be snoring like forever.. hehe.. Sch00l was ait so far.. I'm trying my best to concentrate although its quite hard coz like 30 min after concentrating, my mind will be thinking of something else.. hehe.. i sux at concentration. Luckily got one lect only. Maths lect.. Heheh.. nvr see so many peeps in a maths lect before. Glad to see other malay peeps oso.. Coz the only malay peeps i alwys see is us, the computing peeps.. There's a few good looking guys oso.. hehe.. n0w i cn l00k f0rward to maths lect! *grin2* What a nice way to start my week....

Your dreamz can become clear only when u can look into your own heart. Wh0 lo0ks
0utside; dreams.. wh0 looks inside; awakes...

writtern @9:33 PM

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Gosh, 2day's my br0's b'day.. We dint celebrate that much coz seriously, we are running low in cash.. Everything is going to our granny. I donno what to say. I dont hate her coz its not her fault that she's that sick. I dont hate my uncles n aunties for being so farking poor coz it's god's will & i DONT definitely blame g0d for making our lives become like this coz after all Allah is the Al-Mighty.. Sheesh.. I cant even save up money for my br0's present. I had like 50 bucks last week. Spent sum n i remembered i had like 30 bucks on Mon. Then i help my mom buy groceries n gave Hadi 5 bucks n i'm left with 2 bucks. I'm going out 2moro n i feel so farking bad to ask my father for money.. I pitied my br0. He came home late juz now. Looks ok at first. I help him undo his army boots n clothes as I ask him bout his day at sch. I make it a habit to do it everyday. He kept talking bout his army stuffs. I was wondering y. Then i ask him anithing ur frens did for u 2day? He looked d0wn n said,"They know its my b'day.. haha.. but they dint wish me anithing." He kept quiet n looked down.. As he carried the badges n coins i placed on the floor, i saw his teary eyes. DAMN. he cried.. I felt sooooo extremely sad to see guys cry. I donno what to say except hug him n said "i'll prepare ur dinner. U go n bathe.." Pity him. Life muz be hard for him in new environment. Yeah, he's demoted from express to normal ac.. Depressing feeling. I always encourage him n i knw he's like working farking hard coz every single farking day, he did his homework in my r00m.. S0rry with all the farking words peeps. I'm s0 full wif anger n it feels even farking depressing if i cnt find a source to pinpoint on. G0sh.. I nd therapy.. Shit.. Aniway, i received this msg in friendster from this stupid malay guy. He wrote, "hi ....lawanyaaa...comenyaaa..cutenyaaa...cunnyaaa....kalo aku ensemm......sure ku ngorat...makan apa jadi lawa sgt nih...hehehe...can we be friend?"

U know what? I took back my previous entry bout the friendster thingy being the lousiest pick up lines, coz this is definitely the ONE!!

writtern @7:20 PM

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Alhamdulillah.. I told my dad at last. He was so calm n composed. I nvr see him tk things so calmly before. I cn nvr forget the conversation we had & i'll remember every single thing he said & i'll follow it.. Insya Allah. I need 2 be in constant reminder of my state now. I got academic probation. S0unds both funny n frightening at the same time. I nd to buck up seriously. I still remember the last sentence he said.. ."Kau cubalah nak.Ayah tahu ni sume kau blm pernah blaja.Tawakkal slalu." I walk away n cried.. Thats it.. I had dissappointed him. This is worst than being shouted or scolded by him. Sheesh.. I had appointment wif the advisor this thurs at 11am.. Juz pray for me that i dont break dwn infront of her ait? Tanx peepz.. Aniway, juz now i was chatting wif this guy whom for one yr i thot was my higher malay fren, then juz now i found out his my higher malay fren's fren. Oh my god! I'm so the paiseh. I donno wat to say. Luckily he was ok wif it. He was cool n scarstic. Haha, i gave him the same dose too.. Everything was sm00th n interesting until the last part when we exchange n0 n he said,"Takde org yg jeles nanti?".. hmm.. okie.. what's wif guys & lousy lines? Last time when friendster was the thing, many guys use to say," R u in friendster?".. haha.. I think guys should be more direct n stop beating ard the bush. It'll gif us girls less things to think about especially--"What is he talking about?" or "What d0es that mean" or "Is he asking me sumting?".. Spare us the troubles boys. Seriously..

writtern @8:29 PM

Monday, January 03, 2005

I had received THAT letter & haf to see the advisor.. Shit.. I cant believe i'm still trembling.. Yeah, I'm scared..

writtern @5:51 PM

woah.. had a blasting wonderful day wif my lovely MC2 peepz.. Yeay2!! I really love n care bout every single one of them coz they alwys mks me feel so happy n I realli enj0y every min of my life wif them.. Juz n0w we had a gathering where we spent like 6 hrs at Zaki's house eating,watching dvds,eating,goofing ard n talking crapz.. hehe.. he's house is nice 2 chill definitely.. I hate Zaki though.. He's leaving us like forever.. He's going to that SMU to tk this information management course.. Haiy0h, juz when i thought we would all stay as 9-some 2geda2 till we graduate.. Haiz.. I will definitely mizz him lotz.. *sob2* Hopes he will alwys remembr us n hang out wif us every now n then oso.. oK2, M0ving on.. Then we all rush2 to Kallang Stadium ard 6 to catch Spore vs Myanmar match.. Wah.. I see alot of mats n minahs oso n many2 construction looking myanmar with like white headband stamped wif the word MYANMAR.. eeew... Myanmarians are as disgustings as Thailanders.. Actually, they cn join force wif the mats n minahs ar.. All equally disgusting.. Luckily i'm talking bout patriotism here.. hehe.. so mats n minahs cn be excuse f0r 0nce.. During the first half i felt like its not worth my 6 bucks watching coz spore players were a lil dissappointing.. Furthermore, myan scored 2 during first half.. Hate them loads.. Things get heated up in the 2nd half where spore scored 1 and the BEST EVER HAPPENING THING was 3 of Myan's players were sent out.. haha.. they played wif 7 peeps only (nt including gk) I realli feel like kissing the referee! (for tt moment only coz he realli sux n sux ( to the power of infinity) during first half).. hehe.. I cn definitely tell u that the MYANMARIANS r sore losers.. Suck it dudes!! U loose jerks!! Backpack n g0 H-O-M-E!! *bwahahahahaha*

writtern @1:02 AM