okies pixies here..
The kids kinda settle down while waiting for more participants..
In the bus, on the way to Screenbox. Hakim was our "tour guide" for the day. He was freaking funny. SERIOUSLY!!
OOh.. i love this next shot i took.. Its super awesome rite? Tho' its just the receptionist table.. blehz
Here's the man we've all been waiting for.. Mr Sujimy himself!
The kids were super attentive.. Thank god!
These are the shots i took while the kids are super engrossed in their lighting/filming/sound-testing activities. It was super cool, i swear. We learnt so many new pointers and discoveries and finally, i knew wat soundman really does!!
The kids and Mr Sujimy. Aint they lucky??
Now, the 2nd day at YIH Fn Room 3.. Its more of a theory technical day. Yeap2, sounds boring? but no.. it was a blast too.
Busy-busy us. At one side of the room, Hakim was hosting, at the other side, the rest of us busy preparing for the next activity.
Me and my PD, Hajar.
Look at how big these kids are? hehe.. erks.. Maybe its the other way around. Look how small me n Hajar are!! *smilez*
The semi-perfect pic (coz Hakim n Hanom not in). Us, the committee memebers and the kids..
Ain and her fren did a fantastically great job with the design of the certificate. Beautiful isnt it?
I have learned alot from this bengkel. From the planning process all the way to the execution, all those ups and downs, all those smiles and laughters and worries and cries, had seriously opened up my eyes and gave me the experiences and the sense of achievements that i believe i would NEVER EVER be given such opportunity to go through and to have the first-hand experience in feeling how wonderful it is to know that a simple workshop like this had made a different to these kids, will be one of the beautiful gifts one can ever have and expect from them. I could never ask for more.
Bengkel Penyiaran, my PRIDE & JOY.
writtern @12:08 AM
Bengkel Penyiaran was a blast! It was worth it.. from the beginning till the end. Was tiring more for the 2nd day but the worrying part was 24/7 for both days.. I couldnt even sleep well since thursday.. But it ended well. In short it was PERFECT. Juz as i had expected.
To know wat ive been stressing, sweating, worrying, planning, cursing for months had made a difference to them.. their confidence, their perception, their interests and so on and so forth. Alhamdulillah.
I'll upload both photos asap.. for both days..
Oh yar, i wna say a big THANK YOU to FEZ & FAIZAL for dropping by especially for me.. Thats the sweetest thing ever. And the unexpected phonecall from FEZ, was just at the right moment, i swear. And to Mateen,Adisti,Zahdan,Zu thanx for dropping by amidst all the hectic things to settle like workspace n pesta pantun too.
And to people like Yana, Muneh, Nura and Azura, thanx for hearing my woes bout the painstaking process i went through.
Okie2.. i better stop. This is not Grammy Awards ah.. haha.
Oh, i realised that professional men handling sophisticated machines are such a turn on. (Nope, mamak is still not in for me yet..heh)
Btw, who stole my Salam magazines from the cutie goodie bags placed on top of PBM desk? Im so gonna chop off ur hands!!
writtern @9:50 PM
Tons of things to settle. I donno why i bother bout it. Maybe they misintepreted the meaning of advisor. sheesh. N i donno why they think that we seniors knw everithing from A-Z. I definitely hate to pretend. If only they knw how uncertain i am too.. sigh..Im so dragging my Salam design layout seh. Such an ass, both of us (me n the Salam). Me, for dragging, Salam for turning out to be a silent killer. Cant realli wait to say "Kirim salam sua". blehz.
4 days of not studying, leads to the lazy-ass-cow attitude. im so dead. Better find back that momentum.. Where's the geek in me, huh? Sheesh.. N so im settled with studying at YIH. Im glad i dont feel like a lampost btwn yana n tut-tut. heh. And not forgetting i get to see Mr E every day lah.. He looks so yummable all the time. So serious and mysterious.. woah. Juz enjoy stealing glances at him. :P
Today was kind of a down day for not just me , but others too.. I guess i have been bottling it all up to the max to the point that just one qn from Era(bout which spot in the store room, i wna place the PA system ) caused me to break down there and then.. There i was crying in the PBM Store. So sweet of Era to listen and comfort me. Im greatful i cried just now. Hopefully, 2moro i wont. And its so comforting to know that im not alone. And it feels so much better to share and listen to others' probs too. The "session" tepi tangga YIH wif Muneh,Yana and Nura was amazing and sweet. Even though we din really come up with the perfect solutions for our probs, to know that others are going thro the same thing and still surviving and giving their best, has provided me the strength and support to hold on. After all, that is wat We are, rite? Our presence has been a sign of hope for Them , coz if We crumble, They will too..
What i use to be proud of and feel so belonged to, juz turned to be something i dont know, something i dont appreciate anymore. I need to search that drive again. Seriously. Maybe i cn blame on the stressful and time consuming preparations that exhaust every energy i have, but its not that.. Its the feeling that is juz so different now. I cant put it in words. Im so ashamed of myself for not holding on to what i believe. Whatever it is, i hope i dont crumble. Insya Allah.
Btw, since ive promised, i better write it out..
"Yana is jambu." haha.. just like "running is bad for ur health - just a food for thought" .. *winks*
And Azura, quotes tu sume memeningkan je.. Stick to this one babe,
" Treat men like shoes. If u dont feel like getting one, then dont" .. haha
Its from Oprah oso.. trust me.
writtern @8:10 PM
Received an anonymous donation for my bengkel project. Thank god.I may not know who you are but i can tell you this, my whole committee really2 appreciate it. No words can express our true feelings. If only i can thank you personally..
May Allah bless you for your generosity, always..
Thank you.
Unexpected twist it is.. Its a smile for now. Cant believe i haf my own angel too.. hehe.
writtern @10:33 AM
Here's to many2 more years to come.. *smilez*Though i definitely believe we are of two different worlds, the emotional support we give each other is just beyond words.. U are amazing, my fren.. truly.So monkey comes monkey goes.. Saw monkey for 3 short days but it was worth it.. He definitely haf lots to tell us about. haha. Im glad he did enjoyed himself down there. Ooh, and the morning workout he showed me looked like some kind of a freaking gay dance.. lol.. So gonna miss him still.
Got a call from SB ( on his new hp no).. Him being funny as usual, but super nice at the same time.. was definitely shocked bout something though. And was super irritated too.. For him to apologise on behalf of his gf is juz inappropriate, but knowing him, he apologises for everithing.. haiz.. So, his gf reads my blog. How the heck she knows i dont really care, from who or whatsoever (but i haf a few peeps in mind oredi).. And apparently she doesnt like the way i blogged bout her.. I dont owe her any explainations.. Its the world of blogging, girl. There're alwys rooms for misintepretations. Furthermore its my blog, i choose to write what i want, and the readers can choose to believe or accept what ive written.. Like i always tell those people, not happy?, get ur own blog.. Anwy, there's alwys my tagboard to be filled with nonsense too.. Feel free ok.. heh.
Well, so many other things in my mind.. Bengkel penyiaran ard the corner and i cn feel some members of my group are juz aint enthusiastic as they used to.. And to top it all my marketing member juz aint doing it rite and kinda slow and draggy too.. I believe he can do better but i dint understand why do it last min.. And there's alwys that someone to blame on, for giving shitty promises but never keep it.. pitied my PDs and marketing for falling for her craps ar..
I just dont get it why i cant be firm or more in control or maybe fiercer and colder too.. There are dozens of time where i swore to myself that im gonna say it straight to the other party's face, shout or scold or be scarstic or juz make him/her feels as miserable and irritated and pissed to the max as i am (which is equivalent to feeling like S-H-I-T).
I hate it when people dont take me seriously.. DAMN.
writtern @12:06 AM
Monkey is coming home 2moro.. yeay..
Miss him like tons.. w/o him, there's nobody to stay up late wif everinite.. heh.. Oh, did i tell u that i overslept on that day he's suppose to book in?.. blehz.. And i was super shocked to wake up wif a note on my bed from him.. He wrote :
"Monkey will be gone for three days. Better be nice at home or i wont pay your bills. Haha.. And i still wont miss u,
except for your cooking."
School started this week and im seriously excited bout it.. So much so tat on wed, when i haf no lect at all, i still came to school, juz to buy textbooks and then i S-T-U-D-I-E-D in central library ar.. heh.. and so i was called "kental".. I was all excited to see yana, muneh and azura again! woohoo.. And the perk point bimbotic conversation wif azura was the crappiest to the max.. something bout pregnant duck .. *winks*.. n not forgetting azura's bra-straps shoes.. muahaha.. we seriously pitied muneh's larlings for enduring our bimbo-mode.
Just now was worse than wed.. I thot i have Genes n Soci lect and i was super late ( went out of my house ard 1.45pm) , took taxi which cost me 8bucks, i ran ard like mad in the rain(coz no umbrella), i slipped twice at the LT32 slope, and to my horror, when i went inside the LT by the back door, there was no one except for the electrician.. wth! all those for nothing seh.. haiyah so paiseh.. hehe.
Juz now while waiting for azura at engine bridge, i came to realise how glad i am that im not in engine.. Seeing all those weird chinots bukit and the creepy mamaks doing things that made me wna faint, were freaking unbearable.. I got this feeling u'll be one ah azura, but then again, i hope not.. *smilez*
Btw, im honestly glad and relieved that we haf talked bout it on our way back.. And I am touched that u treasured our friendship as much as i do too.. One thing i learnt for sure is the importance to tell the truth now rather than later. And dear, ive been through it and I understand this whole shit and mess u are going through.. I'll do my best to be there for u( and im speaking for all of ur babes too)..
Its funny how people can be jaded at such a young age.. its sad and unspeakable actually.. Someone just told me my first love was wrong.. I guess i have alwys been in denial.. I believed first love suppose to be too perfect.. haha, too perfect till u cant get over it, till it scarred u so deep without u realising it..
**Oh Allah, give us strength.. Amin..**
writtern @8:34 PM
Juz came back from my first ever 21st birthday bash.. n its not one of my fren's but it's helmi's indian fren's.. So imagine me, (the self-declared not-friendly-with-the-kelawars babe), went to this Indian party, where the played all the banghra songs + abit of B.E.P (n i swear i nearly shake my bootie while sitting n listening), n I ate their North Indian food (which was superbly rich in carb n loaded with kari n yogurt ), n the worst of all, Im finally admitting i enjoyed it lah.. blehz.. okie2.. the small mini steps im taking to be "friendly" with these species.. haha.. im trying ppl.. motivate me lar! hehe
Had a nice chat wif helmi.. Talk bout lots of stuff n knowing helmi, he loves to put his attention on me, on my life.. blehz.. N apparently i was enlightened by the fact that he got this idea fr0m Nad, that i was the one leading "him" on.. Oh tanx alot for bitching wrongly behind my back. I din get it on how am i suppose to be the one leading him on? when im not even "the confused" person n i dont come ard with an excess baggage wrap ard my waist like "him".. N to add to it, we dont even knw wat happened in each others' pasts at that point of time.. Watever it is, u dont haf to w0rry that we r gonna be together ok.
Aniways, someone commented that he got this feeling that guys who date me will haf a hard time catching up with my conversations.. haha.. Now i know y some guys im dating are juz super plain bore to the point that i feel like im dating a donkey. sheesh.. i hate being the only person who talks.. it feels creepy coz if im the one talking, the other person will definitely not juz listen 100% to everi single words coming out of my mouth, but they would haf definitely been observing everi single part of my face.. eeee. how creepy is that? (very)
School starting 2moro.. im still bidding for 3 more mods. blehz.. N this month gonna be a hell of a month.. I haf tons of things to do.. projects projects projects.. N i owe a lot of meet up sessions n not forgetting treats too.. im feeling so sluggish n such a draggy lazy ass cow.. blame it on the superb ultimatum one helluva cramps im having.. boohoo.. Besides feeling like a bloated fish or a pregnant duck, im having enormous nonsensical cravings for all the sin food in these world.. seriously eyeing on cheesecake next.. heh
Btw, thanx shah for the superb nite stroll n wonderful dinner.. I know we've been thro a lot n Im glad uve been honest with me about certain things. Im seriously glad u did. I hope u understand and cherish the friendship we have. Im so sick of screwing up my friendships. U knw and i know we are better off like this.. *smilez*..
Sigh.. complications.. its alwys happen when u haf a close frenship with a guy.. blehz. But i believe once we get over "that stage" our frenship will be much much stronger.. yeah..
Oooh2.. i got 3 roses tonite.. *smilez*
writtern @12:16 AM
Have u ever noticed how it is alwys that "One thing" that will be the turning point for everithing.. It has alwys been that one call, or one letter, or one dream, or that one day, or that sumone , or that incident , or that moment (and the list goes on n on), that made a huge impact on ur life thus changing everyting from then on, from ur ownself, to ur future, to ur faith and so on.
Then comes the "why me/this/now?" part.. U started to ask urself what u've done to deserve that, why all that happen to u and not to sumone else, why now & not then..
And its funny it just doesnt stop there.. wait till u move on to the next part.. that is the "what if" part.. then u go on n on thinking wat if ive done this instead of that, what if i said this instead of that, what if ive chosen that instead of this n what if n what if n yada-yada-yada...
ahh shitty... hate it when things are uncertain, when decisions are to be made, when choices are to be taken and when waiting is not an Option. I seriously S-U-C-K at waiting.. it makes me go bonkers. Who enjoys waiting seh? erkss.. aint me lah.. maybe only azura does *winks*..
Hopefully as the days go by, the flo will become much much better.. No, im not looking for perfection.. but somewhere near-perfection will do. Somehow ive learnt to embrace the imperfections in life.. these imperfections taught me to see things differently, to think clearly and become more realistic, learned to adapt n accept it and hopefully ive grown 2 become more mature with these experiences..
2005 comes n go.. its 2006 now.. still searching 4 something & i donno what the heck it is.. dont tell me its love coz im so gonna roll my eyes at u.. i think its more of feeling the sense of achievement in doing anything, regardless how small it is.. heh.. & i definitely wanna be more optimistic too..
Is that cosidered as a resolution? i hope it is.. haha..
Btw, i got to do relief teaching back this yr.. woohoo.. but it aint the same pri school i taught after my A's.. booh00.. Aniways i just love the cute small kids & they just love me too.. haha..
And Haikal's burfday coming in 2days time.. i donno what to buy for him. But im definitely baking his fav custard puffs n brownies for him n leave the buying of cake to Along.. And i found it super funny that ayah wna make a doa selamat thingy on Hari Raya Haji for Abang, juz becoz he's going off to CD the next day.. Yet to see u botak, bro! u'll definitely look like a monkey.. hehe. Wna bet?
*I miss walking in the rain, see the sunset, feel the sand between my toes, staring at the starry sky and hear the wind whisper.. I miss the dark nights.. *
writtern @11:32 AM
