My heaven on earth.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
I spent the whole morning cleaning up my new room. Yeash, finally, i got my own room. The room which was hadi's n haikal's are mine now. *smilez*. Oh, coz Along moving in my parents room for now till i donno when. Along's majlis is coming near. hehe.. Imagining her and abang ahmad in my used to be parents' room, just gives me the chills. lolz.. well, a lil of blushing there too.. haha. So, dear Along painted her new room baby blue and yellow. At first the yellow was too bright, it looks merepek. After hours of telling her, her room will end up looking like an aquarium, she finally gave in to us, in helping her repainting the yellowed ones. Well, thank god she din chose the colour combination that I have planned for my own wedding room.(I know its a long way to go but berangan je pe) haha. Heard that Ayah suggested it to her, but she refused. *wide-grin*
Oh well, while i was busy repacking my stuffs, i stumbled upon a few precious price-possessions i have kept when i was a teenager. Some things brought back beautiful memories. Especially the pictures of me and my swiss clique. Looking at how each and every one of us changed and matured, made me feel overwhelmed especially knowing that many2 years had gone by. sigh..
I was smiling all the way, till i came upon my old diary. I had 2 diaries, one was during my secondary school life, the other in JC. Having plenty time to kill while waiting for Love at library, I re-read again that particular diary. Most of the entries were sad ones. I realised, how miserable i was back then. Thought that i was being loved, when its so obvious (especially now) that i was just "the-other" back then. Sad but true. I was a perfect fool.
Reading those entries again made me realised the difference between loving someone, being loved and both altogether.
Reading those entries where i always wrote, "how i wish i can see the bigger picture", made me accept the fact that one CAN NEVER see the bigger picture, but they can hope/pray/have faith that there are better ways/choices for them to take.
Reading those entries made me so happy to know that I am after all strong. Strong enough to leave and forget him as I believe in the fairness of god, that I do after all, will be paired with someone deserving of me and vice versa.
I am not sad.
Neither am i bitter.
Never will I leave fiance to be with him, as a matter of fact, anyone else.
The thought of other man, never ever cross my mind.
After all, i found the path to my heaven on earth.
And i know im not walking alone.
Im no longer alone.
Us after terawih.
PS : Sorree to my tudung sisters if the formation of my tudung belum up to standard. *grinz*
