All is fair in love
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Had an intense conversation with Love last night. It was ard 11, and it started off wrongly, I was selfish, he was sarcastic. Silly conversations lead to misunderstood arguments. We left it hanging for a few hours. He went on MIA. I knew he needed time to clear his head, so did I. But I din appreciate the fact he switched off his phone. I din sleep since then. Body was tired, since friday. But i was too restless to sleep. And god knows how I hate the fact, that I always cry. Cried so hard last night and woke Along up. Told her im gonna be ok and i walked out of our room. Caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the way out. Never knew I can look that pathetic.
Received his sms. He said he's on his way back and he's gonna call me. One hour flew by. But my phone still in silence. Its 2.46am. I din understand what he was trying to do to me. All i knew was i din deserve that. Felt so alone.
He called at 3 in the morning. I tried to sound ok, pushed every cries down my throat. But it ended going back out. He let me lashed out at him for a few minutes. Funnily, I felt better, and calmer after that. He was honest bout every single thing he had been thinking about for the past few hours. I respect him for the fact, he was able to acknowledge his ego as the factor, put that aside, and laid out on the table every single issues that had been bugging him. He thought I would begin to think of leaving him.
How could I? Any sensible woman who loves her man will never leave him like tat just because he acknowledged he has his own problem.He is after all a human being. And knowing his weakness do not make him lesser the man he is. In short, nothing i knew of has ever affected the way I see him let alone affect my undying love for him. He is perfect in my eyes, he is my ideal man. No, im not blinded by love, i do acknowledged our problems together. And we knew we have to work it out together for the betterment of our future.
I am always amaze by how he ensures that we always got the best of everything. And im grateful for that. I know and i have confidence in him, that providing the best for me, will never be a problem. But sometimes, sayang, we have to lower down our limits. The best may not be exactly what we want or what we want to achieve in life. We might be satisfied and happy with having something lesser than the best. We should aim for "our best".
Now, the idea of US, of thinking for both of us now and our future is sinking deeper in both of us. Theres no me and you, but Us and our. Wedding, home and family are becoming something tangible and real now. These are the real deal of a serious relationship. Its no more of how we wish we want the wedding to be this & the car to be that. Its about how to get there now, the process, the paths we choose to walk on and choices we are making now for our future.InsyaAllah,we'll reach there together,hand in hand,not only in the beginning or at the finishing line, but every step in the middle. And i can definitely say we are heading that direction. Alhamdulillah.
I learned alot from our conversation,and to tell you the truth, i glad that happened last nite. Most importantly, im proud by the way we talked things out.Being calm is definitely the key to avoiding heated arguments. And one funny thing i found out bout love is it works the same both ways; when you are happy in love, your happiness multiply like a 1000 times. And when youre feeling sad or hurt, ur misery multiply by the same amount too.
All is fair in love, isnt it?
