Thursday, January 26, 2006
Tons of things to settle. I donno why i bother bout it. Maybe they misintepreted the meaning of advisor. sheesh. N i donno why they think that we seniors knw everithing from A-Z. I definitely hate to pretend. If only they knw how uncertain i am too.. sigh..Im so dragging my Salam design layout seh. Such an ass, both of us (me n the Salam). Me, for dragging, Salam for turning out to be a silent killer. Cant realli wait to say "Kirim salam sua". blehz.
4 days of not studying, leads to the lazy-ass-cow attitude. im so dead. Better find back that momentum.. Where's the geek in me, huh? Sheesh.. N so im settled with studying at YIH. Im glad i dont feel like a lampost btwn yana n tut-tut. heh. And not forgetting i get to see Mr E every day lah.. He looks so yummable all the time. So serious and mysterious.. woah. Juz enjoy stealing glances at him. :P
Today was kind of a down day for not just me , but others too.. I guess i have been bottling it all up to the max to the point that just one qn from Era(bout which spot in the store room, i wna place the PA system ) caused me to break down there and then.. There i was crying in the PBM Store. So sweet of Era to listen and comfort me. Im greatful i cried just now. Hopefully, 2moro i wont. And its so comforting to know that im not alone. And it feels so much better to share and listen to others' probs too. The "session" tepi tangga YIH wif Muneh,Yana and Nura was amazing and sweet. Even though we din really come up with the perfect solutions for our probs, to know that others are going thro the same thing and still surviving and giving their best, has provided me the strength and support to hold on. After all, that is wat We are, rite? Our presence has been a sign of hope for Them , coz if We crumble, They will too..
What i use to be proud of and feel so belonged to, juz turned to be something i dont know, something i dont appreciate anymore. I need to search that drive again. Seriously. Maybe i cn blame on the stressful and time consuming preparations that exhaust every energy i have, but its not that.. Its the feeling that is juz so different now. I cant put it in words. Im so ashamed of myself for not holding on to what i believe. Whatever it is, i hope i dont crumble. Insya Allah.
Btw, since ive promised, i better write it out..
"Yana is jambu." haha.. just like "running is bad for ur health - just a food for thought" .. *winks*
And Azura, quotes tu sume memeningkan je.. Stick to this one babe,
" Treat men like shoes. If u dont feel like getting one, then dont" .. haha
Its from Oprah oso.. trust me.
