Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Have u ever noticed how it is alwys that "One thing" that will be the turning point for everithing.. It has alwys been that one call, or one letter, or one dream, or that one day, or that sumone , or that incident , or that moment (and the list goes on n on), that made a huge impact on ur life thus changing everyting from then on, from ur ownself, to ur future, to ur faith and so on.
Then comes the "why me/this/now?" part.. U started to ask urself what u've done to deserve that, why all that happen to u and not to sumone else, why now & not then..
And its funny it just doesnt stop there.. wait till u move on to the next part.. that is the "what if" part.. then u go on n on thinking wat if ive done this instead of that, what if i said this instead of that, what if ive chosen that instead of this n what if n what if n yada-yada-yada...
ahh shitty... hate it when things are uncertain, when decisions are to be made, when choices are to be taken and when waiting is not an Option. I seriously S-U-C-K at waiting.. it makes me go bonkers. Who enjoys waiting seh? erkss.. aint me lah.. maybe only azura does *winks*..
Hopefully as the days go by, the flo will become much much better.. No, im not looking for perfection.. but somewhere near-perfection will do. Somehow ive learnt to embrace the imperfections in life.. these imperfections taught me to see things differently, to think clearly and become more realistic, learned to adapt n accept it and hopefully ive grown 2 become more mature with these experiences..
2005 comes n go.. its 2006 now.. still searching 4 something & i donno what the heck it is.. dont tell me its love coz im so gonna roll my eyes at u.. i think its more of feeling the sense of achievement in doing anything, regardless how small it is.. heh.. & i definitely wanna be more optimistic too..
Is that cosidered as a resolution? i hope it is.. haha..
Btw, i got to do relief teaching back this yr.. woohoo.. but it aint the same pri school i taught after my A's.. booh00.. Aniways i just love the cute small kids & they just love me too.. haha..
And Haikal's burfday coming in 2days time.. i donno what to buy for him. But im definitely baking his fav custard puffs n brownies for him n leave the buying of cake to Along.. And i found it super funny that ayah wna make a doa selamat thingy on Hari Raya Haji for Abang, juz becoz he's going off to CD the next day.. Yet to see u botak, bro! u'll definitely look like a monkey.. hehe. Wna bet?
*I miss walking in the rain, see the sunset, feel the sand between my toes, staring at the starry sky and hear the wind whisper.. I miss the dark nights.. *
