So many things in my mind these days.... yar, ive been doing a lot of reflections bout myself lately. sigh. This ramadhan is so different from last year.. Last year, arwah nenek was here.. Though she was seriously like a "vegetable" coz bedridden n all, i never ever thought that i could ever miss her especially when I knew I wasnt close to her at all, seriously. Its only when those last few weeks of her life, when she was living here, and i helped to dress her bedsore wounds, change her clothings and feed her before going to school, she had then become part of my life.. It was the greatest challenge of my life then. It took alot of courage and patience. I dont deny there were those days and time, where i juz questioned Allah why he still let her live in this miserable state, time where i ask myself, why i bother to wait till i finish feeding her food and medicine and ended up late for school and worst still, time where i refused to change her dressing wounds for the whole day coz i couldnt take it animore, time where i ask to myself why she was making our life so difficult, so much so at some point of time, i think of her as nuisance. It was until that day, the day where she took her last breathe, right infront of my eyes, that i felt i lost the one and only person who taught me great patience and courage. Yes, she had taken up alot of my time, but she did gave me back more in term of understanding and appreciation of what i have..

I never knew im gonna miss her.