Sigh..
Friday, March 04, 2005
I've been s0 busy lately.. G0t 2 tests that i th0t i'm g0nna flung after i done it. N luckily i passed 1 so far.. Alhamdulillah.. Im still in the midst of my programming. Got to do Hangman game.. When i told ppl, they alwys th0t it was c00l 2 d0 programming.. (Yeah rite). The 0nli c00lness ive ever felt s0 far in programmin is sitting f0r h0urs in the freakin cold comp lab, juz 2 figure out the rite codes.. N wen u th0t it was like goddess perfectness, the TA marker can juz scrap of ur points ezly over trivial stuffs like if i dint put trim meth0d 0r my codes are longer than his. Wtf.. Such a pain in the ass.. Luckily my TA helper s0 kind. I keep bugging him wif qns thr0 mail. 0ne day i cn email him like 3 times.. haha.. he's s0 helpful. TanK g0d f0r that..
Yesterday, ma wh0le family had a discussion bout something that has been botherin ma dad.. I cant help but cry.. Its ma dad's siblings.. G0t pr0b wif m0ney again n dad feels obligated t0 help. When i t0ld dad that im dissappointed wif my uncles n aunties, he was sad and said that mayb i d0nt undstand h0w cl0se siblings cn be.. That's n0t ma p0int. I was crying bec0z i pity ma dad. He's gr0wing 0lder n his younger siblings had nvr st0pped b0thering him wif pr0bs. Cant they leave ma dad al0ne. They all haf their 0wn family, why cant they w0rk it out juz like ma parents w0rk it out f0r m0re than 20+ years?.. After the discussion, we did our Isyak prayer and then i juz hugged n kiss him on the cheek. I dint say anithing.. Its like w0rds stuck in my thr0at.. I l0ve dad s0 much & I believe even m0re than i l0ve ma m0m. But y isit s0 difficult f0r me t0 say that to him? I cn never say it 0ut. I cn juz sh0w ma feelings thr0 d0ing things that makes him happy n pr0ud 0f me.. Y isit s0 difficult? I juz d0nt understand... I really d0nt.
