Sunday, January 23, 2005
2day, my family is having a kenduri for my arwah nenek. Yar, she meninggal yest morning.. so sad, yet glad that all her pain n suffering is over. I nvr saw sum1 in the midst ofnazak before.. Definitely an explainable experience. Syukur, she pass away without any difficulty. She still look calm when she's g0ne. I'm thankful that i got to baca surah yasin waktu akhir2 hayat dia.. My m0m was the moz affected person. Dia tk tentu arah.. She sort of panic and she really hold on to our home nurse, nvr letting her go, when the nurse confirm that my nenek was gone. Ape ke tidak, my mom was the one who clean up n feed her. Yest nite, she's a bit different. She said she saw my arwah nenek figure at the mirror.. She couldn't eat, she couldnt sleep. She even want my aunts to stay overnite with her.. Even this morning, she's a bit reluctant to let me go and buy stuffs for the kenduri. Her worries is in her eyes, i could see it. Then i told my sis to go ahead first, n i wait for my bros to come back from ziarah kubur. Now i'm worried. When school days start again, my mom will be all alone in the afternoon, aft she come back from work.Big part of me feel like not going to school juz to accompany her until at least my bro came back hm ard 3+ earliest.. Kesian my mom.. I wish she will be fine. I hope everyone will. I broke down n cry lots since yest. Its funny, since i'm not close to this nenek as i am wif my other late grandma.. Maybe coz we've been living under one roof for 2 months straight. I know i haf to b strong, even if im not, i haf to pretend, for my mom's sake.I dint tell anione bout my granny, but somehow, everybody get to know. I was glad to get a call from Hasyim. Apparently he got to knw from one of his paramedic fren who come to my house yesterday morning.. Then Asri called n i was so sad to cancel our plan yesterday. I got a few msgs from my frens too.. Juz nw, in the morning, ayah broke down. He said that he felt sunyi.. there's no purpose for him to wake up in the middle of the nite animore.. ialah, dh tkde nenek..I pity him, ya Allah.. he used to say that kalau tkde nenek, siape lagi dia nak mintak doa kalau dia dlm kesusahan.. I'm still in pain.. I juz wish i cn make everybody feel happy n stop crying. God, i'm not gd enuff. Sheesh, i'm crying now.. I guess its ok. I havent cry at all 2day..
"Ya Allah, lapangkanlah kubur nenekku, permudahkanlah urusannya, moga-moga nenek digolongkan dlm golongan orang2 yang soleh. Amin"
